Out in the yard

Is there anything more exciting than a yard sale? How about a town-wide yard sale that the town forgot to advertise? So no one showed up for the first four hours that you were sitting on the lawn? And a huge rainstorm moved in just as you were starting to sell stuff? Anything better than that? Anyone?

Yard sales are exhausting. In order to make ours into a light-hearted environment of fun, we adorned all of our tables with cutesy signs dripping with clip art and outfitted Tess in a white t-shirt that read, "Not for sale!". We should have made one for her trampoline too because after we brought it outside so that we could keep her occupied in one spot fifty people immediately felt the need to try and buy it off of us. Sadly, this would have been a waste of both time and paper since an estimated 90% of our patrons did not speak a lick of English.

I had sort of a shit Saturday which I had high hopes would be redeemed by the addition of a money making Sunday but that just did not happen. Out of all of our wares, which were many, this is what we ended up selling:

One piece of crap Combi stroller that I bought exactly two months ago and hated with a burning passion due to its failure to perform simple stroller maneuvers such as rolling and turning-$20.00

Several pieces of assorted apparel previously worn by various members of our family: $31.50

One old watch that does not do anything you would expect of a watch: $1.00

One TV/VCR combo that was old as the hills but still worked very well despite the advent of the DVD: $10.00

One old, decrepit and highly unusable dresser. Already broken in our house, it became even more broken when it was moved to the front lawn where it immediately began to turn to dust as a result of exposure to outside air. Fearful of retribution if we asked for money for this thing we just popped a "Free!" sign on it until someone eventually carted it off to be a hazard in their home: Free!

So we made a shade over sixty bucks and were finally seeing some progress in the browsing department when a huge rainstorm moved in and ruined all of our fun. With the kind of gusto that can be expected of four people who had been sitting on a lawn watching the grass grow for the past four hours, we hauled all the unsold booty inside, packed it up and sent it off to Goodwill thus ending Yard Sale Experience 2008.

Bet you didn't expect ALL THIS excitement when you checked in with me, huh?







On a final note, my hair pissed me off for the final time this weekend so I ordered an immediate amputation. This is the only picture I have to offer and it's a stupid one, taken during a late night bitch-fest that followed Shit Saturday when my sister and my sister-in-law along with Amanda's bandmates Fred and Joe and our friend Allison all decided to put on Joe's glasses and take matching myspace pictures. So those are not my glasses and I am making a stupid face, but my hair is clearly visible.





For now...that is all.