Intolerant

Clearly I have done something filthy and vile to anger Lactose...god of milk and soft cheeses. This is the only reason I can come up with to explain why, without provocation, an entire gallon of milk exploded in the trunk of my car this morning.

I needed milk. I needed milk and so I went to Wegmans where it is physically impossible to leave with only one or two items and so I ended up with $100 worth of groceries. It is 128 degrees outside with the relative humidity peaking at about the same percent and it rained the entire way to the store, causing Tess and I to get wet before entering the freezing cold store. Then we paid, went outside and were delighted to find out that the rain had stopped, only to be replaced with air so thick it was practically a solid and steam wafted off our bodies in dense clouds.

I just had to have milk, right?

Pulling up in front of the house, we left the proctective air conditioning of the car and again swam for the house. I lifted the lid of the trunk and my feet were immediately and alarmingly drenched. My first thought was, obviously, "Fuck!" and my second was, "Please don't be the bleach, please don't be the bleach."

No, it was the lucky first runner up.

It took me a good forty five minutes, an entire roll of paper towels, a gallon of steaming hot water and detergent, some vigorous scrubbing and the removal of my spare tire before I was convinced that I got it all. Only time will tell really, and it is a 50/50 shot that I will spend the rest of the summer driving with my head out of the window to various outdoor markets where I can then pop the truck and open shop for my new business venture..."Brie by Brooke".